Surfacing

Sunday 28 October 2001
12:31 pm  Jesse and Jamie were with Brian last night. Marc was there, too. Brian is so sensitive to people that he had trouble sleeping and the nurse had everyone leave. Brian got about four solid hours of sleep. He would awaken if a person holding his hand would let go. Jamie said it seemed like he didn't want people to leave. She and Jesse explained where Dave and I were. This morning Brian was tired from yesterday's activities. Jesse said it was more like real fatigue, not like the coma spaciness. Nurse Penny still wants to get Brian into the chair today, which is good. Alana read Goodnight Moon to Brian last night!
12:25 am  Brian had a quiet day - he was tired. He sat in his chair some. Dr. Fennel ordered a sleeping med for nights, and no visitors - or at least no touching, so B can sleep. He had a gagging incident and tried to reach for trach. Spit out gunk instead of swallowing or allowing suction. And wiped face with right hand! Slept hour or so, then woke again, close to midnight, agitated. Nurse Deborah let him watch "The Simpsons", and I read a chapter of The Witches. More serious today.

October 28, 2012
This was the first extensive absence for Dave and I. I believe we went home to the Greensprings. 
The agitation continued for several weeks, through rehab and beyond. It was a combination of awakening and drugs. Everything was firing again, with no real control. He was hyper-sensitive and definitely did NOT want to be alone. The non-touching did not last very long; it was totally against my instincts and it caused Brian a great deal of distress. Imagine not touching your newborn! That's what it was like. After all that time of working to help wake him, touching and making sure he knew we were there, I was not going to stop. We did try hard not to wake him when he slept, but any sound or movement could do it. 
Somewhere I have a calendar with notations that may include the books I read to him, and when. I will find this to supplement. I have other things I will begin inserting, as well. The journal entries end at this point, as I concentrated on the hospital diary. 
Brian was re-learning how to breathe, be awake, sleep normally. He was no longer under water. He was truly surfacing.