Mom Takes Over

October 16, 2012
My sister had to return home to La Center, Washington, so after she began the entry for the day, I took over. I was distressed that she had to leave. She helped keep me going. The entries will become longer, as I am more wordy and I carried the book with me everywhere, taking notes constantly. The switch in voices will be noted within the entry.

Tuesday, October 16, 2001
Noon   Brian had a pretty peaceful night. See saw, balancing act of stimuli vs heartrate but latter was down in mid- to low 90's at 8:00 AM. Fever still down; lungs still clearing. Respirations up a bit so being medicated for that. Family meeting with pulmonologist, Dr. Fennel, and social worker to discuss brian's progress and family dynamics. Cleared the air. Not a great sign that Brian is not interacting more yet but with medication so high he hasn't had a lot of opportunity. 
Aunt Mary Kathryn left for La Center.
6:20 pm Mom takes over. Just saw him. Marshall brought boombox so B can have his music. Orbital is currently playing, and Brian stays calm. Heartrate 96-101. Cardiazem is done, unless his heartrate spikes. Lopressor is being injected intravenously periodically, for heart. Slight fever, so fan is on. I re-hung dreamcatcher, consolidated crystals w/boombox. Collage poster, Spanish card, Jacob Phelps' drawing on wall. I'll stick up some others, including photos, tonight. Alana is due to put up self-portrait. Aunt Linda is here; she, Mary, Marshall, Kellie, working on puzzle./Eyes opening a bit when I was there./
10/16/01   brief notes on meeting w/pulmonologist this am: Pneumonia is cleared up; on antibiotics 5-6 more days (some gunk suctioned out today). Will do tracheostomy and PEG tube before weekend, to get tubes out of mouth and nose (breath and food), alleviate irritation, pain, infection risk. Fennel wants rehab team to start working w/Brian/us. Brian does have sleep phases. Active adrenal gland and high epinephren may be pushing up heartrate (youth). Quote: "a fairly significant coma" "good chance of recovery"
9:22 pm  Eyes opening, looking at Dad and Aunt Linda, responding to music. Jesse and Randy called. Jesse found a website that has info on anoxic comas. He's doing "okay" (with hesitation). Randy needs to see Brian.
Rosemary and Faye also called this evening MK called Dave at Cheney House.
Dad and Linda left @ 9:25. Mom here.
Brian turned his head at a loud noise when I was there, around 9:30 pm. Eyes open alot. Self-portrait up.

We began playing the music to help bring him back, to calm him, to create familiarity. The staff amazingly allowed this. They knew it was important. They had the experience with coma patients. We had decorated the room with a collage the kids made, a card from Spanish class, crystals that were given to Brian. The dreamcatcher was made by a young Lakota woman I had worked with, Jessica Cedarface. She had given it to me a couple years before.
"Significant coma" still upsets me. It's weird to read that next to "good recovery".
Aunt Linda is Marshall's aunt, Rosemary's sister. Linda is another one of the strong women of the family. Brian is very fond of her still. 
Randy Fitzpatrick is a friend of Brian's from infancy. He was there at the beginning of this.
Faye is a friend of ours from 'way back. She was Brian's first art teacher. A gentle soul, a dear heart.
The self-portrait mentioned was the abstract version that I published here. 
I remember that moment when he turned his head. As I typed it the visual memory returned. Clearly. I can see it now. I can hear the noise and feel my joy at watching him respond. Such a precious moment of returning life.