"I'm not in the future or the past"

Wednesday 21 November 2001
11 am  "I had a bad dream last night. I dreamt I had no memory." The first thing Brian told us this morning. He said he couldn't remember anything about the dream, it was bad but it didn't wake him up. We told him he could talk about it if he wanted to. He is fixated on the date October 8th; when he wants to know what the date is, he will say it's October, often. 
The parents all met to discuss the schedule. Marshall and Kellie want 5-7 and don't want Dave and I around. They say they have "no problem" with Brian's friends visiting at that time (it's prime friend visiting hour). Friends are currently encouraged to visit, mostly on weekends. For tomorrow, which is Thanksgiving, Marshall and Kellie want 9 am to noon. The rest of the time is for therapy, Dave and I, and Brian's quiet time. 
Brian had OT, PT, and ST this morning. We will have lunch with him; his NA is working on helping him slow down while eating, and eating one item at a time. Two bites and a sip, also. He did some writing and drawing this morning, too. He seems very alert and happy. 
Dave and I will make a quick trip home tonight, after helping Brian to sleep, to get some things to bring down. We also need to make sure he has mellow cds to listen to, cds that are accessible to him.
2:15 pm Brian remembered his Spanish teacher's name with NO PROMPTS, immediately after being asked (Dana Renzi).
During PT, Brian worked on standing up by bending forward, and got up on his hands and knees for the first time.
THE PEG TUBE WAS REMOVED THIS MORNING, with no problems.
 During lunch, Brian looked out the window at the rain, commenting on the "unappetizing rain". When he ate, he worked with both hands, but mostly with his left for a change. 
Thom Little called and will be with us here for Thanksgiving dinner. 
"I'm happy. I'm in the present. I'm not in the future or the past."
7:20 pm Brian unzipped and took off his fleece vest by himself.
Brian repeats in threes: "Um-hm,um-hm, um-hm"; "Yes, yes, yes"; "All right, all right, all right"; "Sorry, sorry, sorry".
Brian had dinner tonight with Marshall, Kellie and Alana. Marc visited, too. While they were here, Brian wheeled himself around the unit.
10:30 pm  Dave and I were with Brian from 7 until 10. We played 3-way catch in the hall, and Brian and Dave played catch, with me following and fetching the ball, around the Unit perimeter: Dave walked backwards, with Brian following in the wheelchair. Then we stayed in the room, after a second round, during which Brian kept repeating, "Sorry!" until he finally said, "You guys are getting sick of me saying that, aren't you?" "Sick of what?" "Sorry!"  It was as though he was deliberately trying to wear it out. He is feeling responsible for what happened, and we won't let him; we tell him he is not to blame, it's not his fault, he has nothing to feel sorry about. 
In the room we talked and goofed, until Brian was ready for bed. Brian put on Dave's vest backwards, and we made jokes about green eggs and ham.
Dave whistled four notes and Brian imitated it PERFECTLY.
When Brian was in bed, I finished Alice in Wonderland. Brian got a bit incoherent and fearful, but calmed down easily. Dave turned out the lights, and I held Brian's hand and talked to him softly, about how I sat with him every day and night in the coma and held his hand and watched him, after he said, "I could watch you all day!" We locked eyes and communicated love for half an hour. I told him about feeling (and dreaming) that I'd re-birthed him. "That makes me feel real good." He told us he was glad he had us, and thanked me for being his mom. "Don't go to sleep," he said once. I told him I would, and he could too, because it was safe.